I was listening to an engaging conversation last night regarding some social issues with people from different industries and backgrounds: writer, singer, and manager, young, experienced, parent, and I was the one who was new to the country and ignorant about American history. The details of the conversation are irrelevant to this post, but while they were all deep in talk about these topics, I kept thinking of how many insights I had and how fast the ideas were flying, how much I wanted to say something, but I kept my mouth shut.
I just kept my mouth shut. I somehow felt so stupid. I know I am not. But I just kept quiet. In the conversations that they had, they had arguments backed up by history, their worldly experiences, and their unlimited vocabulary. The thoughts were forming in my head. I had visuals in my head and I knew what I wanted to say, but I did not know how to say it.
>>Everything I wanted to say was lost in translation.<<
I can be a smartass, witty, and quick, but I can never be eloquent and wise. I cannot express myself in long statements. I cannot have a whole speech about my beliefs or my opinions. I have an awesome friend since high school who can be so elaborate with her fury that it is almost poetic. I wish I can be poetic like that. I wish I can have people listening to me and just be enamored by what I have to say. I wish I can be just like Morgan Freeman who can say anything like “the monkey’s ass is purple” and still sound so smart.
While I think of how I can improve my speaking skills, I think many things come into play when it comes to this. It is all in how you say it. If I had an English accent, I’d be more interesting to Americans (maybe?). It’s all in your presence and how you command a room. Are you confident enough in this crowd? What role have you played in this scenario that will make people want to listen to you? Expertise, experience, delivery, grammar, vocabulary, and many other things, I know…
Maybe I am more of a spectator… Oh well. Until I get that confidence or the need to get involved, I think I will always just be shy and reserved when it comes to things like this.